I don't think anyone will ever read this. Which is funny. But at least I will have it - for later? Like one of my journals. This is more interesting because there is at least potential for someone to read it.
I have some great friendships. This is what I found this week. Some mornings I wake up feeling lonely. I think this is because there is no one to eat breakfast with. However, I can chase away this loneliness quickly, simply by thinking about the number of people who love me.
On Thursday I went to New York City for about 6 hours. I had to take a 4 hour plane ride both ways to get there, and so far, every time I've mentioned it to someone, they weren't too impressed. But I thought it was SO COOL. Mostly because I went somewhere, experienced the place, and then left, all in less than 24 hours. I also saw one of my very best friends, a girl I can't imagine my life without. This is someone I never have to make an effort to be friends with, and I can only hope she feels the same way about me, because I am so grateful for this. I am just happy with her, and affirmed, and encouraged. I am myself. We had two Margaritas, and I was silly, and she laughed at me, and told me about her life.
On Friday I went out with my friends from work, who are people I love. I am an ethnical minority amongst them, (strange experience for a white girl in America) and am usually surprised by the I have claimed a small spot in their lives. We laughed and ate and talked about our work, which is taxing and draining and unusual.
On Saturday I went to the garden, which is a place where I talk about my week and reflect on what has happened with my friends there. The Garden Man, who is like a second father to me, laughs at me and gives me advice and reminds me to take care of myself. There is a new friend there, too, who has an unusual name and seems interested in learning more about me. We walked to a parade and watched it together and found joy in it together.
My shy friend called me after I got home from the garden. I didn't answer her, because my allergies attacked my body. She is someone who tells me how special I am and expresses continuously how glad she is to have met me. I need to call her today to tell her that I was ill.
I talked to my Dad. He is my friend, too. I rely on him, to this day, to solve my problems when I cannot think through something. He will fly through my town tomorrow - I hope I get to see him.
I "messaged" with a friend from college today - we have a relationship full of misunderstandings and hurt - but also a lot of laughter and joy. He pushes me to think outside of my realm, and is sometimes frustrated by my faith in my religion. At the end of everything, though, he knows I am here for him, and I know he would do anything to help me. It is a friendship that we push to the brink of limitations, sometimes crossing the line, but it's friendship neither of us are willing to give up. That is why we are still friends. It is an unspoken decision to continue to forgive. He contacted me to ask when I will move back to his town. It will be at the end of this summer.
Now I'm cold. I've been sitting in a coffee shop for too long. It's time.
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